Monsieur, je voudrais le laissez-passer A-38!

If you have seen Les 12 travaux d'Astérix or in English, The 12 tasks of Asterix, you know that Astérix needs a certain permit... à la maison qui rend fou, the "house that sends you mad".

Hello bureaucracy!!!

Yesterday, I took a day off and I went downtown with my mom in order to get my dad registered again with the Quebec's healthcare system.

We understood that his "Carte Soleil" lapses... but we did learn there that he was somehow running on a 6-month "grace period" which ended... shortly after he was admitted at the hospital. Talk about timing. It sucks...

While I still don't understand why I haven't seen any renewal notice in the mail, it at least explained a mystery: Why my dad had at home all the free help from the public healthcare... and why all of a sudden, once he got hospitalized, the hospital would balk.

If you're curious, as of yesterday, the hospital bill was up to $35,000 . Have you ever felt your heart literally skipping a beat... if not SEVERAL beats? :) Or picturing yourself sinking in a quicksand of debts? :)

So we have to re-register my dad to the Québec healthcare system as if it was his very first time. Since he can't do that by himself, my mom has to do it for him. To do that, my mom has to prove who she is and that my dad is her spouse. Easier said than done.

Then we have to find the original lease of the apartment, to prove that they are living in Québec for at least a year. ANd so on and so on...

See, the permit A38 that Astérix needs? He needs to fill up the blue form which requires that he gets the yellow form first which will be given if he gets the pink form, all in order to get that permit? It felt that way today.

A bit like in that Astérix task, there are some supposedly shortcuts if you can't end up at the required booth with the required papers. We had to go through there, since we couldn't find all the required papers. Whoopy. :)

Not to mention that like in Astérix, there are some very clever clues: "You'll find the port by the seaside". Have you ever seen a port... at the top of a mountain, for instance? :) We got some equally great advices too, along the way.

My mom (who is also around 85 like my dad) is thankfully in good health, has a good sense of humor, and she knows her classics too. Err... Astérix. :)

Many times during those long waits in line, we were chatting about Astérix and that specific task he had to accomplish... and giggling.

To say that we "enjoy" the walks in "the house that sends you mad" (yup it exists in Montréal) and the many waiting lines, it is quite a stretch.

However, by the end of the day... we did FINALLY obtain that official paper, stating that my dad is officially re-registered. In just ONE DAY? It felt surreal. Nawww... that can't be it. Not that fast! And yes... it is!

So this has been a mad mad mad day... that ended very very well. I think that I will sleep well, VERY well tonight, no longer picturing myself drowning in debts. :)

(In case one wonders, my dad is recuperating. He's out of ER. He has a room and a real bed, and he should be sent back home sometimes next week. Thanks heaven!!!).

So... here's in French, that scene... Getting a certain permit, at "the house that sends you mad."



(If French is too much, while the image quality isn't there, you can try this link, in English)

Cheers,

-E

Giggle of the day: Guess the ASL sign for government...

<--- Here is the answer from the LifePrint (ASL University) web site. It's a very good web site if you want to learn ASL.

Yup, they're all that crazy at the government!

Anyhow, I stumble on that sign tonight...

... and for some reasons, I just couldn't stop giggling. :)

Cheers,

-E

Ahhhhh.... Ha ! Familiprix!

It says something about television... when ads get more fame than the show they sponsor. :)

On Quebec television, both French and in English, there are those "Ahhhhhhhhhh... HA!" ads, for the "Familiprix" drugstores. They all crack me up.

Such as this one:



The thing is... when you hear that "Ahhhh... HA!" something is bound to happen, like to this cyclist who didn't pay attention...




Here's the grand finale, 4 ads in one, with subtitles in Portugese, no less!




Those local advertisings have won many international prizes. Not bad, eh?

Ahhhh HA!

Cheers. :)

( Be well! )

-E

Casse toi alors, pauvre con!

Well, I figure it's the kind of news that will reach the English-speaking press.

It's French argot (slang) for: "Get out of my way, dummy!"

Those are the not very diplomatic words French president Sarkozy has uttered today at a French agriculture show.

In the brouhaha, it appears that someone was not exactly a fan of Sarkozy and he stood in his way... and Sarkozy didn't appreciate.

Le Parisien is a well known national newspaper. So I went on their web site, and yes... they got the video of the event.

Oops. :)

There's a non-written rule. A French president should never treat a French citizen as "pauvre con". No kidding. :)

That being said, if the French had heard the many not very diplomatic words from our former prime minister, Jean Chrétien, whoopy!!!

Enjoy,

-E

Carbon tax and Fluevogs... :)

Thanks to my cable provider, I'm getting their "western feed". In other words, TV channels from Vancouver British-Columbia, and with these TV channels, their local news. Talk about living there.... by proxy!

Note: Partly sunny, +10C . Flowers are already blooming upthere. This beats our -20C this morning and 4ft of snow on ground. :)

I still miss my morning jogging in Stanley Park... oh well. Someday, I'll live there... *full* time. Ok, I'm terribly digressing, but it's my blog, am I allowed? Merci! :)

The other day, it was budget time for the province. After Québec, British-Columbia is the 2nd province to come up... with a carbon tax.

I'm highly skeptical it will do anything. If Québec's experience is of any indication... indeed we saw the impact at the pump... and not much else happened. So much for being "green". Time will tell...

However, sharp-eye and fellow blogger Clevergirl has noticed the real newsworthy event about this budget. As it is customary, the finance minister was wearing a new pair of shoes. However, this is no ordinary pair of shoes. We're talking of Fluevogs shoes, no less. :)

Ok, I'm a guy, so there are things which... will always escape me, and I have to accept that. :)

Sure, they are nice shoes and they please my eyes too, but I don't understand the craze about Fluevogs. Oops. Heresy!!!

Ok, it's time to hide in my igloo! :)

Cheers,

-E

Weird recorded message from Bell Canada...

When I came back from work, there was this strange message waiting on my answering machine:

(Translating from French)

"This is Bell Canada. We would like to talk to you regarding your phone number. Please call at this number between 9AM and 9PM. Thanks".

Ohhh, how rude it is. Intimidating too. "we would like to talk to you". I beg your pardon ?!?

I figure that if they want to pitch for more gizmos, there might be some kinder ways to do so.... if they want to make a sale.

Other things were weird. The recorded message says that I should call a 1-866 number, obviously a long-distance toll-free number, and yet on the Caller ID display, I see a local phone number within the 514 area code.

Curious and somewhat pissed off, I called. :) After all, the cost of the call is free, and I don't mind deliberately generating expenses when others have to pay the bill. Especially Bell. O:) I was also in the mood to let them know of what I think of their recorded message. :)

This is what I've heard:

-"Hello! Ici Bell Canada. Mon nom est xxxx. Comment puis-je vous donner un super excellent service aujourd'hui ?"
(Hi! This is Bell Canada. My name is xxxx. How can I give you a super excellent service today?")

Jaws dropped here!!! A *super excellent* service ? It's thick on superlatives, I'd say....

Ok, I'm on Candid Camera and the cameras are rolling, or I'm daydreaming all this and I SERIOUSLY need to catch some sleeps. It's getting crazy here!

-Well, there's a message on my answering machine and it says that I should call, regarding my phone number, I said.

-Is that so?

-OF COURSE, since I'm telling you!!!

-Please wait...

I'm wondering of what the heck I ate or drank this evening. I never thought that there were magic salads, or there could something in the Montréal water. I want to know what it is, because it's potent! I must be hallucinating, it's just too crazy!

-Oh, I see that you're calling from home.

Wow... With guys who are clever like that, it's going to take a while... and all of a sudden, I'm just glad that *they* are paying the long-distance charge, not me. :)

-What else do you see on your computer screen? I said

(I was tempted to say: What else do you see about my future... but as much as I felt it was a large scale prank, there was something telling me it could be true.)

-Oh, I see that we have to talk to you.

I had that sinking feeling that it's getting circular. Ok, I'm game!

-Isn't what we're doing right now? , I said

-You mean?

-Aren't we talking right now?

-One moment please.

For some reasons, I was thinking of Woody Allen. Only him would think of scenes that are _that_ crazy.

-Oh, I see that we have to talk to you.

I had this immense urge for _that_ nervous laugh... I'm going to burst, here!

-Again, I think that this is what we're doing right now, sir, I said with a cool calm voice.

-One moment please...

I'll spare you the details, but this is how crazy the conversation was on the phone...


SO this is serious and it's no laughing matters. A list of 3.5 milllions of customers in Québec and Ontario have been stolen. It contains the list of names, address and phone numbers incuding of customers with *unlisted* numbers (incidently, my case. My phone number is not listed, and it always irks me that I have to pay an extra $2 for NOT being listed in the phone directory). No credit card numbers or other personal infos were found, thankfully.

They arrested the guy (and he's not a former Bell employee) recuperate the data... and now experts are wondering how the data could have landed in the hands of bad people.

Bell Canada recovers stolen data on 3.4 millions customers

And Montreal man arrested in Bell Canada data theft case

So the alert *is* serious... and apparently, the entire desire of Bell Canada is to "talk" with their customers.

Given the kind of talk we had... mhhhh...

So this is it. If you get a weird call from Bell regarding your line, this might be that.

Good luck!!! I hope for you it's not going to be as crazy as it's been for me. :)

Cheers!

-E

Oh, my cubicle!

If you've been wondering why I traveled so much last year...

See Clevergirl's blog entry. The danger of the mighty cubicle world!!!

Since I value my sanity... this is why I spent so much time on the road, heh! :)

I hope you'll enjoy the giggles. :)

(And the fact that it's so true!!!)

Cheers!

-E

IF I disobey the law of gravity...

Does the law of the land still apply ?

(Originally posted on Dec 13rd, on my arrival on the west coast. A blog repost from FC. I realized later that they censor my blog entry. Sheesh!)

Air Canada has decided to do a festival of Canadian student movies on board of their west-bound planes, instead of showing the usual brain-dead movies from Hollywood. I approve wholeheartedly the move! Besides, our own cinemas, that's a welcome change from always seeing foreign movies, especially on *Canadian* planes. :)

Enter the "Upside-Down Girl" (photo above) The movie was done by grad student James Vandewater at Ryerson University (a well known university located in Toronto).

There are days, you know... *those* days... when you wake up, you feel being upside-down. Those hangover days, you know...

Well this is what happened... literally to a young woman. One morning, she woke up... stuck to the ceiling. Walking on the ceiling certainly feels like being upside down... with the rest of the world... not to mention a certain weird feeling about disobeying the law of gravity.

To make matters worse, she has just begun to date a guy (the story doesn't mention FC, I've checked! ), and of course today was the day which the guy would show up at her apartment, just to make matters worse.

So there are some hilarious moments.

For instance, she tried valiantly to appear... normal to her date, therefore trying to appear upright like everyone else. However for her, it means being upside down in an upside-down world.

Think about it... it will eventually make sense to you. :)

Also rare for a movie shown in airplanes, there was a brief sex scene. Ohhhhhhhh... nothing unmentionable really showing up. Or rather, we didn't have time to see much, so our imagination had to kick in. :)

The poor guy is stuck on the floor and her on the ceiling, so they had to be creative. Even kissing proved to be mhhh... somewhat cumbersome.

PS: Finally a good use of the missionary position, to use the weight of the guy to bring her down, and for him to go ahem... up. Weightless sex on earth, a fantasy that tickles the brain, if you ask me. This was a waaaay too brief scene, but the imagination can fill out the dots. :)

All along the movies, there were those amusing lines.

As a photographer, it's also a devil of fun to build a set upside down with the intent to make it look upright, and to make people seemingly defy gravity.

If you have studied photography, it's a fun project to do... but rarely we can do that, to such a large scale, like they did with Upside-Down Girl.

The dialogs were somewhat uneven, but there are some gems, worth saving.

Cheers,

-E

(Addendum: Since I'm not on FC, I can post links. Heh. :) You can read a review of Upside-Down Girl here... and about the hurdles they had to overcome.)

12 days of Christmas!

To all my friends, online friends and fellow bloggers,

I wish you happiness, I wish you health,

May your dreams, even the wackiest ones come true!

Now... if you are partying merrily... go easy on booze, ok?



Remember... This is the time to ahem... celebrate? If this becomes a chore, something is probably wrong. :)



And what the heck, a "twofer". Hint: Check their pile of bills! :)



Merry Christmas !

Huh ?!?

:)

-E

I need a blow job! :-)

Hehehe...

Be honest, you were thinking of THAT blow job, right? The job that sucks, right? ;)

You have a dirty mind... well... as dirty as mine and a lot of people. That's not all that bad, come to think of it.

No, I haven't posted that blog entry at FC... yet. I'm still giggling!

Sooooo.... of course, I'm thinking of a blow job of another kind.

To blow... the snow away from my little street. *That* kind of job. By the way, where are the snowblowers?

We got the storm on Monday, and it's now Sunday... and we (the residents of that street), men and women alike, we're all collectively waiting for our collective blow job to occur. :)

(You know, there are certain things that are done in groups, and you can bet that in this case, we'll all rapidly climax of joy when it's going to happen. We've been waiting for soooo long, you know! ;) )

I also wonder whether next Monday, I should call City Hall. I can imagine the conversation on the phone.

Sir, I need a blow job, and it's an emergency!

Ok, it's Sunday morning, the week has been though...

Am I allowed... to record some moments of silliness?

Thanks. :)

PS: Credits for my immediate neighbour about the word play on blow jobs... and for contaminating my mind since then!!!

SNOW !

Snow is a 4-letter word. :)

It is also 30 cm perhaps up to 45cm of white fluffy stuff.

Where's my shovel? I'm just an eskimo lost in the blizzard. Heeeelllpppp!!!!!!

:)

Cheers,

-E

Giggles: Get a raise, and go to vote! :)

The wonder of internet newsfeeds. :)

If you have a working knowledge of French, by all means, do check this story from the Agence France Presse (AFP) : Une pilule de Viagra pour aller voter en Thaïlande.

Yup, it means what it means. Literally: "A Viagra pill in order to go to vote in Thailand".

Thailand is slowly returning to democracy, on the aftermath of a short lived military coup in 2006. This is going to be their first legislative elections, to be held on December 23rd.

Politicians being... politicians, you know that some of them have been trying to buy votes. With money. Other politicians have found mhhh... some rather creative ways to buy votes.

Citizen of Prathumthani, a suburb north of Bangkok have reported that some candidates are distributing free pills of ... Viagra. Yup, _that_ blue pill.

In order to buy votes? Mhhhh... Nawwww. Of course not! ;)

According to electoral laws, a candidate, if found guilty of buying votes, could face a 5-year jail sentence.

Here is where it gets hilarious:

Charungwit Phumma, an investigator for the electoral commission said: "So far, we haven't received a single complaint about those free Viagra pills. This is rather unusual", he said.

Tee hee!!! Who is going to complain, really ?!? :)

You know what I'm thinking? Our politicians should learn from their colleagues in Thailand.

Finally, politicians who start REALLY doing something for the ahem... "wel being" of the people they pretend to represent.

Who would complain? :)

Hehehe...

-E

Right on! :)

From Clevergirl, I got this link. What the stars say about your birthday? This is what they say for me:

Lets101 Quizzes - blog quizzes

-----

It's moi, heh!

I admit that it's tough to stay modest. ;)


Cheers,

-E

Mac or PC ? :)

There must be something in the air... about those infamous Apple ads (the one with Mr. PC and Mr. Mac). Yup, they're back!

First, a good friend of mine sent me this link over e-mail: macorpc.org . Yup, the web site!!!

And the music is cool!

(music)
Mac or PC ?
Are you a right clickah,
Or an iBook flippah?

Surfin' the net with "Eye EEE" (IE)
or with "Sa-fa-ree" ? :)

Mac or PC?

I'd bet that you're going to dance! I did! :)

(One tiny little sour note: Maybe it's just me, but I had a devil of hard time figuring out what they're saying. Subtitles would have been nice!)

The video is hilarious! One would wish that Apple ads were _this_ mhhhh.... laid back? :)

Also, from my friend and fellow blogger Clevergirl has also blogged on the same topic: "Move over, Mac & PC, it's OLPC time!" (*)

Again, it's the same famous Apple ad, mhhh... South Park version. Hilarious!!!

(*) OLPC: One Laptop Per Child. For a limited time, you can Give 1 Get 1 . Be generous, it's for a good cause. :)

This is the fun of the internet. Sheer silliness that brings smiles. :)

Let's dance! Mac or PC ?

Cheers. :)

-E

Wake up!

Seen from Clevergirl's blog.

If you have cats... I think that you'll love this video. :)

Time after time... :)

This is a well known song by Cyndi Lauper... but sometimes, like tonight, this is also the incredible things we have to do, as a computer programmer...

Warning: This is a tired sleepless blog post. It's similar to a drunk post, except that the mind is rev'ving at full speed, while I'm physically exhausted.

So I imagine this conversation with my son... years later, asking various questions about the incredible things I've done as a computer programmer.

-So you could work at home, dad?

-Ayup, it's called VPN.

-Very Pathetic News? I don't understand.

-First, stop watching Fox News. They are very pathetic thank you, and second, VPN stands for Virtual Private Network. Over the internet, it brings the office to my home.

-Ah. This is like what mom is doing with her brand new hip megafliflop iPhone UltraLite LX ?

-Yup, except that dad got bigger toys to play with. A big computer, heh. :D

-What ?!?

-Size does matter, and I'll explain to you, when the time has come. :)

-Dad, can you explain again what you were doing on this day in October 2007?

-Nothing and I was paid overtime, my dear son.

-Overtime?

-Overtime to have a lot of time on hand.

-Huh?

-Overtime to keep at all time a watchful eye at the time.

-Why?

-Because the time could have gone wrong at any time. :D

-Huh ?!?

I don't want to waste your time, you know. ;)

-Dad... let me know if I get this straight.

-STRAIGHT ??!?!?

My son smiles. He knows and he's proud of his dad. Great kid. :)

-Dad... so you were paid overtime to do time in checking the time because it could go wrong at any time.

-You got just in time, son. :)

- and only during the weekend of Saturday October 27, 2007 was the right time to do so?

-Yup. That was the right time.

-Not before?

-Weeeell, I did that also in March 2007... and we had something similar on December 31st, 1999.

-Oh, that's the Y2K bug?

-Yup.

-The thing that was blown off because nothing happened?

-Nothing happened because thousands of programmers have worked hard to make sure that nothing would happen.

-And?

-And thousands of us were killing time on that December 31st, 1999, while our families were enjoying the festivities of the New Year and the Millennium. Not exactly fun.

-Same thing today? Not fun?

-Well, it's Hallowe'en. I was thinking about this kilt, you know...

-DAD!!!

-Ok, ok... I, along of thousands of computer programmers all over Canada and the United States, and even overseas were killing time.

-Why?

-Son, we're also thousands of computer programmers asking the exact same question. :)

-Ah.

-Do you know George Dubyah Bush?

-Oh, the most despised, lunatic, idiotic (and a long list of very flattery words) president in the history of the United States?

-That's the one!

(I knew this kid is brilliant, just like his father. :) )

-In school, have you read Don Quixote?

-You mean... The guy who was fighting against a bunch of energy wind turbines?

-Ahem... Sort of. :)

(This must be a heck of a revised edition since I've read Miguel de Cervantès' famous novel. :D )

-And you know how absurd it was?

-Well, no more absurd than what our governments do these days, dad.

-You got it right son!

(I'm telling you, this kid is brilliant. :) ).

-So what Bush did?

-Another absurd thing, what else? :)

We chuckle.

-Son, as absurd it was to fight windmills, err... energy wind turbines, Bush fought time.

-And he won?

-No, but your father and thousands of his colleagues all over the continent are laughing big time at the money we made thanks to him!!!

-How?

-To save energy, (and I assume to fight the need for more ahem... wind turbines? Mhhh.... ) he believed that by extending daylight saving times even further would help, from mid-March to November.

-All the way into November ?!? This is dumb!

-You got it, son! This is also why Bush thought it would be a good idea in the first place. :D

We chuckle.

-Thanks to Bush, thousands and thousands of programmers have worked hard to fix computers to compute time correctly, according to the new standards he has set. Also thanks to Bush, on this day, all over the North American continents in many data centers, there are teams of programmers, killing time to make sure there isn't a computer abiding by the old time rule...

-And paid overtime?

- (silence here)

-What else, dad?

-Thanks to Bush, his cost saving measure has cost the economy millions of dollars.

-Typical of conservative thinking. Was any electricity saved, by the way?

-I'm not sure whether the meager amount of electricity presumably saved has compensated for the thousands of additional laptop computers running, along with the many lights that were kept on during the night...

-I got it, this time.

Brilliant kid. :)

Cheers!

-E