End of a cycle, thoughts and all that jazz...

Those of you familiar with Toronto landscape will recognize the CN Tower. A reminder that I'm just at a rock throw's away from the urban world.

By that time last year, I went for the first time to the Islands.  Been to Toronto many times, and I knew the islands, but I never thought that so close to the urban core there would be such a jewel.

I brought my camera with me.  I always view photography as a way for the visual guy that I am to tell you visually the things I want to say.

So a year later, I figure it was time to return to the same spot.  A year later, the end of another cycle of ... life.

And what a year it's been.  The mental illness of my dad to its late stage, and out of nowhere the diagnosis of a generalized cancer and almost as if someone "upstair" heard our muted terrible wish...  gone peacefully was my dad to that other world.

I'm still debating whether he knew that this was going to be it, as his mental illness and then being on powerful drugs to provide a "quality of life" that make you wonder in these circumstances... it is one question among soooooooo many that becomes answer-less and pointless.

When you see your dad going away, you feel like a giant in the middle of emptiness.  A giant shadow of myself, very fragile, feeling terribly alone without the family around.

A cruel society that expects from you to perform zillions of administrative tasks.

Being given 24 hours by the nursing home to clean up dad's room was a prelude to many tough unpleasant tasks upcoming.  Contrary to my shadow on the sand, I wasn't very strong on my legs...

As I walk toward the beach, the "clothing optional sign" made me smile.  It is so cold this late in the season that it's not an option anymore.

In fact, as I near the cold water of Lake Ontario, I had to keep walking at a pretty fast pace to keep me warm.

We are born naked and we leave this world naked... 

 There nothing like the shifting banks of a sandy beach to remind me of the foundations I am on.

Just like I thought that I knew my dad and I was so sure of that...

Seeing all my world shifting once again, albeit in a wonderful way this time, to discover that my dad had a life I didn't know... to the point that 6 wonderful women who are calling me... brother ?!?

Whao...

I'm watching the sunset.  One reoccuring question: Why ?

The person who could answer my question isn't there anymore, and I wonder: At this point in time in my life, does it still  matter?

Isn't the point that we are all reunited?

No matter your reasons,

I love you, dad.

===
Live the present time and look forward for the future.  That's my thinking.
===

Yup, there are going to be several more chapters in that book...

Colleagues who've been reading my blogs tell me that I should write a book about my caregiving era...  While joking that a book is soooo... 20th century, I wonder who am I to tell others...

As I return to civilization, I was thinking of two famous phrases, one in French, the other in English:

"Je n'ai fait que mon devoir".  I did my duty.  The duty of a son.

Yet in French, the word "que" implies something restrictive.  I did *only* my duty?  No...

"It's a labour of love".

That's the whole point.

Cheers,

-J

Blogatus Interruptis ?

My last blog entry here was months ago, which itself was after a long hiatus...

With the illness of my dad, followed by his death, I had neither the time, nor the willingness to blog anything.

And these days, my life has been violently rocked again, except that it is in a good, VERY good way.

It took dad's death and the announcement in the local newspapers... to discover that I have half-sisters. And I kept doing the maths: Not one, not two, not three, not four, not five... but S-I-X sisters!!!


(Photos of Toronto Islands, a sandy path to one of its beaches.)

In some religions, the tree represents life. If you've been on the west coast and you have been next to big trees... This is life spats at you, in full force. You could see it, you could *feel* it.

Between trees, there are paths.

I wish that my path, like this sandy path on the photo on the left... would have been a straight line.

Straightforward.

Straight.

Mhhhh...

You know, like everyone. That everyone, the silent unknown individual of the majority.

Not a chance. A non-standard family and I'm quite a non-standard guy. And the past few years...

Mhhh...

I guess that is one of the twists of life... that I've stopped frustrating about. Like it or not, I have to accept.

I had to do so with dad's illness...

Accepting the bad... which I thought was the summum of things to accept...

And now the good, the wonderfully good... the summum in the other direction, but still immense, still huge to accept.

Accepting that my dad had a prior life, and deliberately kept unknown to me for reasons that escape everyone, whose past is now becoming my present time.

6 wonderful women who are my sisters and who are calling me brother. Moi, un frère? A brother?!? Whew !!!!!

It's a re-birth, except that I'm born by the age of 46. :)

Accepting, welcoming...

... with open arms...

I'm sure there will be some blog entries ahead. If life doesn't keep me busy, there is that. :)

Cheers,

-J

Living differently... and a matter of human rights?

If you're a woman, would it come to your "right" mind that you could breastfeed... your spouse? If you're a man, would you have a drink... that it's on (and literally from) your wife? :) Without nursing a baby, a woman can be induced into lactating and apparently, to the delight of both spouses.

The other day, both in local printed media and over the radio, I was (indirectly) reminded of my past, as a forum moderator... and why this old militant had his human rights chord being tickled .

I was also a bit intrigued (and pleasantly surprised!) that a seemingly taboo topic could hit the mainstream media, and essentially they didn't make of that story as a freak show.

A couple living in my province started this blog on Wordpress: Allaiter mon conjoint (breastfeed my spouse).

What has touched me is that among the reasons she has started this blog, it is to serve as a place for others who share similar interests. To overcome a taboo, to educate the population in order to fight ridicule.

Also, like so many things in Québec, articles written in French, especially on topics that are... off the beaten path are almost non-existant.

Upfront, I'd say... mhhh... that's absolutely NOT my thing. However, because I don't like something should not and should NEVER mean that others shouldn't enjoy it.

In a previous life, well... in the 80s when the BBSes were king, I was an avid forum participant. By the 90s, I graduated as a forum manager on commercial online services, the ancestor of today's internet. GEnie, Delphi, name it.

One day, on behalf of an ailing forum manager (and personal friend) that I temporarily took care of the Freemind forum on Delphi.. For just a few weeks I thought, 6 looong (and fascinating) months it went. Even after I gave back the forum to its original host, I stayed there 'til I retired entirely from the forum world, in the late 90s.

That was a forum in the "adult" category. Woah. By design, it was in that category in order to be able to speak more freely (hence, the "Freemind") without having management censoring us.

Religion often took a hard beating. (It was the time of tele-evangelists who made headlines regularly for their "immoral" excesses, so I had plenty of material for the forum). Also, maybe because of being in the "adult" category, sexuality was also a fairly recurrent topic.

This forced me to do searches on the 'Net, as well as pitching in my little Canadian 2-cent. Sort of being a reference center and also being a place to discuss about various issues on sexuality, in general.

Being open minded and eager to learn, let say that my mind got opened wider than I thought, and I learn a lot.

If you think people are crazy, yes they are. Yes *we* are. Yes we *all* are. You, me and everyone around. :)

A way of saying that the mighty word "normal" is the word to ban.

Sadly, "statistics" is a word I'd rather like to see it undefined, because people aren't just numbers. We're humans, made of flesh and we have a heart and a soul.

Anyway from that era, there are a few things I learnt and got stucked in my mind. Like one person out of two has a sexual fantasy, enough that the word "fetish" would apply. It is just that your fantasy isn't exactly appealing to others, and if you could know what happen in the bedroom, the fantasies of your neighbours and people you know would be shocking to you.

The danger is applying your moral values to others... and saddly, if you happen to be at the other end of the equation, it is about feeling the pressure of a ruling majority and morality.

There are times I wish the Freemind forum would still exist. Last weekend, Québec's ruling cardinal at a public gathering heavily complained about abortion and he openly wished to have abortion being banned, once again. That would be a good topic to discuss.

And isn't a case of ... human rights? Aren't we born equal, in *dignity* and in *rights* ? Why that moral pressure against you if you live in a non-standard way? Why being ridicule... for who you are?

Some of the reasons people came to the Freemind forum... are the very same reasons this Quebecer couple mentioned in their blog: Loneliness, the fear of "not being normal" because you do things that the moral majority would be against, to have a place to make informations available and to share experience...

Plus ça change...

New communication means... and same old issues.

My thinking is that between freely and willfully consenting adults who want to have some mutual fun and as long as they aren't harming themselves one way or the other, anything can (and should) go on, limited only by their imagination.

And no moralists should tell them what to do and what is approved or not. :)

PS: If you're a guy, you shouldn't laugh that much and you should wipe that grin on your face. :) While researching this topic, I've discovered that men could also lactate. So guys, beware! Your spouse may order you a drink from you one of these days!

Which in a way... feeding from each other, it is living in symbiosis, albeit being squished to a new height. :)

Vivre et laissez vivre, mes amis. That's the whole point. I'm serious.

Cheers,

-E

Nice try, but...

Months ago, I blogged about those special locks that rat on TSA people (Mr. Obama, the devil is in (telling) the details).

There's a green/red dot. It turns red when the lock gets opened by the TSA people. Nifty, isn't it?

And I learn during the years of paranoia fueled by the Bush administration that my luggages were *systematically* opened by the TSA... and yet there were no notes, no sticker no nothing to warn me of what happened.

In other words, if I didn't have those locks, I wouldn't know that my luggages have been opened and searched by the TSA.

I would bet that there countless of travelers who are unaware that there luggages have been opened and searched.

Why not telling people? As if personal belongings are no longer personal. Well, a lot could be said about the Bush era, and I have to keep this blog entry short. :)

It's been a while that I haven't been in the US. Those of you who read me via FastCupid or BadSumo, you already know there was the big Blogfest event in Philadelphia. I managed to take some time off in the US... including Philadelphia. :)

It was a great blog event and it's been fun to put a voice and a face onto words. :)

All good things must come to an end, and here am I in Montréal.

Guess what? There was the usual *red dot* on my lock. Grrrrr... TSA again.

I open my luggage and lo and behold... there was a note!

Telling me that my luggage has been inspected by the TSA. After sneaking in for so many years, it's the very *first* time I was notified... officially.

Maybe the changes trickling in from the change of government, maybe...

Nonetheless, there are manners...

Why they have to open my luggage... without having *me* opening that luggage for inspection?

When I cross a border, I am asked (mhhh, sometimes ordered? :) ) to open my luggage for inspection. That's fair. It's in my full knowledge, and *I* open the luggage.

So why in the US soil, that same modus operandi can't be done? Why it is all done in the hiding, and until recently, without even telling the owners (unless you have those special locks, like those I have) !

I know some family members and friends from Europe who take offense, and that's the #1 complaint.

I am not happy either, but everytime I raise the issue, even in Canada, I'm told that I'm fussy.

Manners it seems...

And I can't figure out why it is so difficult to ask passengers to open their luggages...

Oh well. :)

Mini-rant off !!!

Cheers,

-E

Mhhh.. no, I won't sign your petition...

... about the killing of baby seals. Oh, I'm a villain? Stay on. :)

I'm on Facebook recently (and it's a place I don't like much, I'm there only to stay in touch with FC blogfriends).

One thing about Facebook, you get bombarded of requests to support causes, sign petitions, that on top of many quizzes and games, pokes and superpokes.

For some reasons recently, I'm getting bombarded once again with causes and petitions against the killing of seal pups. One phrase that caught my attention, "about inhumane killing". This begs the question: What is humane killing?

Mhhhh...

True, you have seen plenty of videos... and yes, it is gruesome.

Here's a digression... that isn't one.

I'm what would be considered a "sport" fisherman, altough I royally hate the word "sport". (More on that later). If I were not such a clumsy guy with such a poor eye-hand coordination, I'd be a hunter too.

Though when I'm on the water, and fishing, while it is a wonderful opportunity to have quality time and enjoy myself, it is clear in my mind that what I will catch today... will be my meal tomorrow.

In other words, I'm doing my role, the way nature intended to, taking my place in the food chain. The life of a living thing has to be taken away, so I'll be able to stay alive.

Have you cleaned a fish? Have you done fillets? It is gruesome, and even though I'm used to that since I'm a little kid, you better be strong on your feet to do that.

Yet, this is part of the whole process of taking my place in the food chain and there's nothing to be ashamed of.

What I find really gruesome and definitively obscene are those weekend TV shows about "sport fishing". A bunch of guys having a devil of fun catching fishes...and releasing them, and these guys hoping for that big trophy fish. I've seen in person plenty of those guys too. Urrrgh!

Making fun from the suffering of a living creature, I find that obscene. If you have ever fished, you know the hook can inflict severe damages. Those fishes that go belly up because they didn't make it, that's gruesome (oh they won't show up to the camera, "thankfully").

Mhhhh....

But what about the grocery store?

It seems this society is so scr*wed up that with these stores, we have collectively forgotten where all the food comes from?

For instance, it is quite gruesome at a slaughterhouse.

The milk that you drink, you think that cows are all smiling and enjoying a quality life grazing in the open, enjoying the scenery and watching passing trains, as some TV ads want you to believe? Mhhh, not really.

Or that "organic food" calms down your concerns, while organic is just the name. It is mass produced in a non very healthy way just like their non-organic counterparts; the whole process is also quite gruesome and to add insult to injury, still with lots of contaminants coming from the soil and polluted rain.

To a point that depending on where they come from, some organic foods are more toxic than their non-organic counterparts? Ooch...

Of course, organic or not, multinational commercial interests drive all this. While I have some (minor) issues with the movie, by all means see "Food Inc" (official web site, IMDB database), if you still have some doubts. It's an eye opener.

Yet, the grocery store is the magical place which we get fed... and the fact we don't know little nor anything about the true origin of all that food seems to have isolated us from nature.

(And I don't want to shatter your heart about the huge amount of food getting spoiled, and also food that must get thrown out, even if they're still edible. Only a tiny fraction of that food goes to food banks. The rest is just thrown out).

To me, I find that quite disturbing. Far more disturbing than... well, you know what.

Humans have inflicted so much damages to nature, and yet he can also help to alleviate the damages he's been doing.

Fishing stocks along the east coast have collapsed. From overfishing and also from pollution. Our fault on all counts.

Scientists will tell you that the population of seals have grown exponently, from 1,8 millions to 5,6 millions in 30 years (link), and we're heading for a disaster if the seal population isn't brought down. By being a predator to them, we can help. Guess how...

Mhhhh....

Back to my original thoughts...

For many centuries, humans have been harvesting seals. For their meat, for clothing, for our own survival. We were taking the part we deserve on that food chain.

Gruesome? Yes. The cycle of life is that too, you know...

I'm also thinking that coats made of animal fur are far more ecological than similar clothes mass made from synthetic fibers, fibers which are often derivative of petroleum byproducts...

Not to mention the sheer amount of energy waste to make those clothes from synthetic fibers, and doing so in countries which cheap labour is prevalent and human rights NOT so prevalent.

Mhhhh...

All things considered, no, I won't sign your petition.

Thanks nonetheless.

-E

Garage sale !

With the relocation of my parents to a "ressource intermédiaire" (nursing home), and only this >little< can get in their rooms, so I'm stuck with a couple of stuffs from their former apartment that I have to get rid.

I'm skeptical that my blog has such a huge audience (ooooh, sweet dreams!), but who knows? You might even want to travel to Montréal just to see me!

(Though if you help me clean my parents' former apartment, I'd appreciate! How's about free food at a good restaurant ? I might even wear my kilt just for you! :) )

So here's the stuff, all once big ticket items that I *must* get rid:

-1 20" TV Sony Trinitron, with 1 video input. Great picture, little used. Compact, take little room. Ideal for dorms, bedrooms, etc. $50

-1 24" TV Sony WEGA, year 2004. Great picture, superb sound. 1 video input and 1 video/s-video input. $300

-2 electric "hospital" beds, one single, the other double. Both have remotes. These beds can raise or lower themselves, or just the head or the foot. $200 for both.

I still have some tables, chairs, fancy cutlery, etc. All yours if you make good use of them. :)

Voilà!

This is a time-limited offer. Operator (moi!) is standing by for your call! ;)

Cheers,

-J

Via Rail: I miss an opportunity to travel, argh...

Last week, while I was still in the US, I was watching their national newscast.

I was floored to see that Canada made their headlines!

Via Rail on strike. Sigh... Oh my, I can imagine the chaos at La Gare Centrale in Montréal and Union Station in Toronto.

While the strike lasted just a couple of days (thankfully!), now that I'm back in Montréal, I finished reading my mail, and I saw that a friend of mine has sent me one of their blurb.

VIA Rail ran a promo, to excuse themselves for the "inconveniences"...

60% off to any destinations in the Québec-Windsor corridor (including Ottawa).

Ottawa, just $20 away from Montréal, ditto for Québec City. Even far away Toronto at just $40 away from Montréal. For a weekend escape, that's ideal !

So why I'm still in Montréal, this weekend?

Their promo ended... yesterday.

Sigh...

I guess they call that... luck. :)

Paying *personally* the price for standing for human rights?

I'm back in Montréal, after a lovely week in Massachusetts, on the beaches of Cape Cod, and then going further north in Lowell, for their folk festival and along the way, meeting wonderful FastCupid bloggers!

Basking in such an environment,

where everything is nice and cozy,
where at the beach, we wear little, if any

There is even a "clothing optional" beach which I went last year (and on FastCupid, it inspired me to write this blog entry), and I might have gone this year too, but with just a week of vacations, I ran out of time

And in Lowell,
so many cultures mixing in,
peacefully and for the joy of all of us,

It is difficult to NOT forget that we live a very shelthered part of the world.

Elsewhere, things aren't so rosy...

And when you have God on your side,
excesses can be so easily justified,
even if they are insult to everyone's intelligence.

Who would dare to say that God got it wrong,
Or the Holy Writings aren't decoded the way they should?

Mhhh...

Then you are reminded that human rights shouldn't be said too lightly.

The story about Loudna Hussein broke in many French-speaking papers here, and for some reasons was largely ignored by their English counterparts.

If you can read French, try this: L'indécence du pantalon féminin
(Although I found a brief article in the Huffpost: Ludna Hussein pants adjourns until Tuesday)

The story is taking place in Sudan, an islamic country. The police raided a cafe in Karthoum and arrested 13 women, one of them being a UN worker, Ludna Hussein. Their crime? Indecency. Wearing western clothes. In the case of Ludna, she had the heejab on, but otherwise she was wearing ordinary (western) clothes.

We're light-years away from the clothing optional beach of Cape Cod.

The sentence? Being flogged, up to 50 times according to some newspapers. That's the reason for the trial and Loudna is waiting for her sentence.

As a UN worker, she might have immunity, and she said that she wouldn't hesitate to resign, so the trial would go to through.

I get the hunch there might be some political motivations, or there are other things that aren't said. Nonetheless...

You would stand for human rights... even if it means you pay personally a physical price?

I admire her.

Altough my feeling is that nothing will change. Sudan isn't the most democratic country, and when you have the power of religion...

Though as a male, the situation couldn't ever apply to me...

However, I'm thinking that should I have been in a situation which my physical integrity is compromised *AND* I could make use of immunity to bail out, I _think_ that I'd take the immunity waiver and get the [bleep!] out of this situation as fast as I could...

But I am also thinking with my Western world minset too.

Mhhhh....

I'm crossing my fingers...

From A to Zed or Zee with your smart hands!

If you've been reading my blogs, whether here, or on FastCupid or BadSumo, you know my love for Sign Language.

So I put the DeafRead feed on this blog. There's also the link to DeafPulse, another source of infos. While primarly for the deaf and hard of hearing people, hearing people would benefit too.

Today on DeafPulse, there was a link to a fun YouTube videoclip from http://www.mysmarthands.com/ . To hearing people who must learn ASL and have to teach it to their kids.

Believe me, your hands are smart. A lot smarter than you think!

Cheers!

Footnote to my hearing friends: In ASL, -even though this is a sign language-, the 26 letters of the alphabet are present.

Letters are commonly use when there isn't a sign for the visual concept that you want to express, or that sign isn't known to you (which is likely my case!!!). So you have to rely on English words for those visual concepts, and you "fingerspell" those words.

There are other usage for fingerspelling. For instance in the US, the 50 states are often fingerspelled using their 2-letter abbreviations. Imagine a vacation trip on Cape Cod, it would be insane to fingerspell that I'm currently in M-A-S-S-A-C-H-U-S-E-T-T-S. With a state with a name _that_ long, it's a lot easier to sign "M-A".

(External link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMQHd1UBkeI )

Mr Obama, the devil is in (telling) the details...

This is one of my pet peeves when traveling to the US, by plane.

Two ordinary "TSA approved" locks (the now familiar red diamond logo).

Mr Obama, it isn't always possible to micromanage a huge bureaucracy, and when it is left on its own, it continues on its initial direction, or do silly things like flying Air Force One at low altitude over NYC... without telling the public. A photo op with the obvious consequences, except to bureaucrats, of course.

Since 9/11, everytime one has to fly to the US, he is required to leave luggages unlocked, or put these "TSA approved" locks. Supposedly for additional screening, should something odd appears on their scanning devices.

Like anything else, when you can do something, why not abuse of your privilege by doing it... all the time?

With apparent impunity, because they aren't required to tell you that your luggages have been opened. So not knowing... why would you suspect anything?

Mhhhh...

At airports, bus and train terminals, by observing the size of luggages some people carry, it feels like they're carrying their house with them.

In a way, as a traveler, we all do. Those are our personal belongings, after all.

Would you, in the name of security, be required to give your keys to your house to the police, "just in case" they have to intervene, for your own... security?

Mhhh...

And entering your house without a court mandate or without your approval, even without your knowledge?

Yet, this is "airport security" and that's what they do with your luggage.

Funny, when I cross the border, even the US border, it happens that an officer will *ask* to open my luggage for inspection. One might say that I have little choice, but at least, everything is done in my full view, and *I* open my luggage. That's fair.

Why so much secrecy at airports? And why luggages are systematically open? I can prove it.

I got those hard to find luggage locks that rat on those TSA guys.

Look at the dot at the lower right-hand side of these two locks. Can you tell which one was used on a luggage that went to the US by plane, and the other in Canada? Yup. A red dot will show up when it is open by a TSA guy. Otherwise, there's a green dot. Nifty, yes? Yes...

What bugs me, if I didn't use these gizmos, I wouldn't know. Most people don't have these gizmos, so they don't know.

Since they forced air travelers to use those "TSA approved" locks, I don't remember a single time seeing a green dot when going to or from the US.

Mr. Obama, the devil is in the details. The devil, is in *telling* the details. To keep people honest, there's nothing like things being done in full view, in full knowledge of everyone involved.

Assuming that those additional inspections are really all that required.

Oh, and the fact that it is really for my own security, that is.

Fear is so easy to sell... Bush did that so well...

You don't have to follow his steps.

Cheers,

-E

---

PS: This is a blog "simulcast" with FC and BadSumo. Not present on FC is the link to the Brookstone web site, where I bought those locks years ago.

They no longer sell those locks, but they have similar locks, still with an indicator, telling you whether someone... else opened those locks.

Human rights... over there.

A comment, said I'm sure with all good intents, that got me into this chain of thoughts...

"You know, you don't have to visit your parents so often".

Of course, I don't have to, but I do hope that you aren't telling me something... else?

Here's the scoop: After 3 years of being a caregiver, first to my dad, and later to *both* dad and mom, it's been about 2 weeks that they got relocated, to what they called here, a "ressource intermédiaire". It's more like "assisted living".

Apparently, the facility got praise for its excellence, overall.

While my parents were at home, I got plenty of help from the CLSC, the "everything under the same roof" governmental social services. They provide at home health care of all kinds.

From time to time, especially toward the end, I hired up private help, so I could take a much needed break, and enjoy vacations away of Montréal.

From people bathing my parents, doing some laundry, then the nurse, then the occupational therapist, then people doing the cooking and some of household chore. At noon, then at 6PM. Toward the end, there were 4 to 6 different people *a day* visiting my parents.

Nearly all were super cool people. To have seen them in action during all of those years, it takes people with a *BIG* heart to do these jobs.

Nearly all.

For instance, I've blogged on FC last fall about a "préposé au bain", a person giving bath to my parents who literally ruled the house as soon as she stepped in. I learn later that this person has come a few times, and everytime it coincided that I was away of Montréal.

But not this time.

She was rude with my parents, even in front of me, and even after I told her that I'm their son... and the one who has *HIRED HER* (well, her agency) to bath my parents!

"Sir, you speak too much".

Wow...

Well, in no time she was speaking all to herself outdoor too. A verbal complaint, followed by a *written* complaint made sure that she won't ever come back. To my knowledge, she didn't.

Over those years, there have been a few cases like that. That's why I'm saying that "nearly all" of the many people coming to my parents' house were super fine, but...

So, there are exceptions. A few, but that's a few... too many.

My parents were just too terrorized to protest.

Those bad apples have been thrown out... because *I* happened to be there.

So that phrase I got from an employee at the "ressource intermédiaire" that "I don't have to visit my parents so frequently"... I'm sure it was said with a good intent, and my frequent visits are at first to ease the transition, -for all of us- in fact, and of course I would ease my visits a bit afterward. So far, I have nothing but praise for the entire personnel, but in the above context, mhhh...

When you are old and ailing... you are extremely powerless to those who have powers onto you.

Nor everyone can count on a relative to speak on their behalf either.

Human rights, it's not just at the other end of the planet, it starts right here at home...

-E

FYI: I was born Palestinian...

No, I am not. :)

Clevergirl reported on her blog about Laila.

When you're a Palestinian,

When home is the Gaza Strip,

When you're a journalist and have to travel,

When you're a mother, with two young kids in tow...

Intenational dirty politics that seem so remote, so immaterial...

Suddenly takes a very ugly face when people do suffer.

Sometimes I wonder about citizenship and its value, especially on a passport. Nor to mention the passport itself.

Not to mention wars...

Have we evolved so much from the cave men?

Mhhhh....

I know that my blog has little readership, but I figure that even symbolically, I have to spread the words. Read Laila's blog.

I still believe in human rights...

... and still naive to believe that we're smart enough to eventually make it happens.

Cheers,

-E

Captioned telephone...

Last February, I was in New York City for a weekend. To get some much needed respite from my caregiver duties and to see some blogfriends who I haven't seen in a long long time.

Anyhow, on a Saturday morning, I happened to watch TV and waiting for the weather forecast to come up. In the meantime, I saw ads for NY Relay.

To those not familiar, a traditional "relay" service is a way for deaf and hard of hearing people to communicate with the outside world, as well to receive calls. They have a device which goes to the phone. Pretty much a terminal, with a tiny screen and a keyboard. That device is called a TTY, or sometimes TDD (Telecom Device for the Deaf)

Incoming calls must go to a relay service, and the person talks voice with an operator. The operator in turn will call the other party, with the TTY. So, she will "relay" the voice conversion over the TTY device, and for the deaf person, she can type on the keyboard, which will be seen by the operator, which in turn will "relay" that text voice to the talking party.

There are variations of this. Such as IP Relay, which is the same idea, but over the internet, and there is also VRS (Video Relay Service) like Sorenson VRS which sadly is available *only* in the US, which, instead of relaying words, they relay *Sign Language* to spoken English. The video portion goes over the internet, and voice over traditional phone lines. I saw that in action, and I was absolutely floored! We should have that in Canada. Again, that's something our government doesn't see the need, but the the Americans do. (End of mini-rant here. :) )

But all these services operate the same basic way: If you want to reach a deaf / hard of hearing person, you have to call a special phone number *first*, in order to reach an operator. Ditto the other way around, for a deaf person to call an hearing person.

So I was genuinely curious at NY Relay's ad for... the Captioned Telephone (watch their video).

At first, I was thinking of voice recognition, which is a nightmare for computers to do, as anyone can notice that when calling some voice automated services like 411 directory assistance... with *very* varying success. :)

No, there's no voice recognition circuitry.

It's still a phone with a screen, and as the ad goes on, you dial *directly* the person you want to reach, as you would do with a normal call, and talk normally. Every word you say are captioned. I was wondering how.

This would be great for my dad who is almost completely deaf, and even for me, while I'm not deaf nor hard of hearing, but sounds do not translate well into "words" by my brain. Much like TV with closed-captioning was always on, I would love to listen to a conversation to get the gist of it, while reading the captioning on a screen.

I am also thinking of a few friends which this phone would be a wonderful gift. It would be great for them to call me directly and vice-versa. :) No more operators to dial in first!

There is a gotcha. Or even two, from a Canadian perspective.

The "Captioned Telephone" does two things. You call directly the other party so there's the convenience of a traditional phone call... but the phone also calls the relay service.

It shifts the paradigm of a relay service. The operator is no longer the person in the middle, relaying text to one side and voice the other side. The operator is set aside, and he just type everything that is heard on the line. In effect, this is the "closed captioning" like on TV, except that it's done over the phone.

I suspect there must be delays. First, you don't get an operator instantly, and throughout a lively conversation, I suspect the operator may fall behind, just like closed-captioning of live events, on TV. :)

The additional gotcha is that just like ip-relay, ditto for VRS, the "Captioned Telephone" works... only in the US, as always. So it's useless in Canada.

Anyway, there's a good idea. I wonder how it's going to evolve, over the time.

I suspect that at some point, phones will be equipped of voice recognition, which a keyboard could also be plugged in. Such an universal device would work every way possible, between deaf, hard of hearing and hearing people.

That said, if everyone knew Sign Language, the use of video would make the telephone obsolete. :)

Anyway, just sharing my joy of seeing technology helping people. In this case, to break the communication barrier. This is something that will always be of great interest to me (even more so here, since I have some vested interests, as a functionally hard of hearing person. :) )

Cheers!

-E

Internet on the go: I bite at the bait...

I bite at Fido's offer for "broadband internet" (so called 3G), 1Gig for $30 per month.

This is getting decent, and closer to what the Americans charge.

For the upcoming months, I'll be traveling once to twice per month. (Those who know me, I'm a caregiver to my parents, and I need a break. Since it takes so much planifications with our social services to have such breaks, the deal I've done with them is to set ahead of times all those breaks, so they'll be able to do my job while I'm away (and on top of what they _already_ do, which is _a lot_)

The good side is now I know all my vacations all the way to September. The bad side of course is that it's rigid. I can't change days easily. Oh well... )

If you have traveled a little bit... and like me you bring your laptop, you know there are less and less hotels offering *free* internet service. And when it's free, it's so lousy that you congratulate yourself for not paying for it.

Then, on trains (and even some buses) Wi-Fi internet is becoming available (at a cost, of course), and of course it's already there at all major airports. When you have to kill time, internet is great for that. :)

When you have to pay for your internet access, it seems that most providers in the US and Canada have come up with a standard price: Around $10 for 24 hours.

Then, Fido's $30/month for broadband service would pay for itself after 3 days of use per month. Which is likely to happen, in my case.

ANd for work, I need a backup access to the company's VPN. I'd love to ditch my land line and the antiquated 56k modem for that reason. That would be the other reason for giving a try.

First hurdle: Fido itself. My cellphone can also act as a cellular modem to my laptop. So I ask the $30/month data deal to be added to my voice cellphone service. After lenghty search, the sales' rep told me that my cellphone isn't eligible.

Huh ?

No, I need to buy or get for "free" if I sign a 2-year contract with Fido a USB key that acts as a cellular modem.

-Ma'am, my cellphone does *already* that. I carry already too much electronic devices with me when I travel, so why I need your USB thingy when my cellphone can do the same thing ?!?

The problem is with Rogers, (owners of Fido). In other words, they're doing just about every illogical things they could do. (For instance, we were the *last* industrialized country to have the iPhone in Canada, because Rogers has the monopoly on GSM in Canada, and they thought that the iPhone wasn't important and no one would buy it. This got Apple people fuming at Rogers.

The same could be said when Rogers bought Fido, the first thing they did, was to ditch the Sidekick (called Hip-Top in Canada), which was the iPhone's ancestor (and still an aptly competitor today), while in the US, T-Mobile were playing big on the Sidekick, and even developping niche markets, (like the deaf community) with special rates for them. (Affordable unlimited data-only rates). There were also many fascinating applets designed for deaf Sidekick users.

Phone makers and cellular carriers in the US saw the potential of mobile internet, while in Canada, they didn't even bother until... it was almost too late, having to upgrade their network as fast as they could to provide mobile internet.

So, to make a long story short, I got their USB stick. Mumble...mumble...mumble... End of rant. :)

On the photo, it's the "Novatel Wireless". They tout heavily that it is "installation free". The part that they don't tell you... You *must* be logged in with an administrator account. Hello ?!?

Since it's out of question that I do this, so yes I had to install the software and use the "run as" trick, so their software would run with admin power while I'm logged in as a regular user. It's clunky, but it works. The documentation is so skimpy that it is almost worthless.

Now the acid test. Mobile... internet. Since there's nothing more mobile than a train... I thought it would be a good test!

When 3G service is available (the light turns blue on the Novatel USB key), throughput is almost as good as broadband. There is a noticeable tiny delay, but web pages load up fairly quickly. Essentially, it's just as good as the broadband internet that you're used at home.

First gotcha: 3G data service is available in big cities. As the train leaves Montréal, 3G also leaves. 3G service is incredibly spotty on the Montréal-Toronto corridor. A glimpse in Cornwall, Kingston, Brockville, and of course, it gets rock solid when I arrived in Toronto.

Then there's "EDGE", which is the next best thing when 3G service isn't available. Think of a 56k modem... on a good day. :) It's a sharp drop in speed, but it is still tolerable. I didn't tune up my web browser, but I figure that using a large cache would help tremendously. So most of my trip were on EDGE service. Personally I didn't mind.

"GPRS". G as in Gasp!!! If I remember well the specs, it's the equivalent of a 9600 baud modem... when operating in ideal conditions, which almost never happen. Access to the internet is almost unusable. You must surf with graphics off, for instance.

To my surprise, I saw a couple of times my USB key flashing me that its data link with the network has downgraded to GPRS when we were deep in rural Ontario, with no city, town nor villages in sight. Ouch. That tells you how Rogers/Fido are serious about mobile internet.

A few dead spots too, but not all that noticeable. I was too busy typing text on forums and the like, so by the time I was ready to hit enter, I got again a useable signal. :)

So my experience of "mobile internet", in its true sense, going from point A to point B... if the bus or train offers onboard Wi-Fi access, it's likely to be superior over cellular service. You might want to pay for the extra bucks and save on frustrations.

I figure that if I were in the US, the Novatel USB key would shine. Here in Canada, and the poor state of Rogers' network, all in all, my impression is that the key did its best given the circumstance.

Now, at the hotel in Toronto, I stayed for 3 days. It would have cost me $30 for 3 days if I used their Wi-Fi service from my room. So I stay on cellular. 3G service was available of course, and it was rock solid and speedy the entire 3 days. I love it!

So, as a substitute for Wi-Fi / wired internet access when you're sitting still, say at your hotel room, airports, etc... and in you're in a big city with 3G service is available, that USB key really shines. I love it!!!

Another negative point agout Rogers/Fido: contrary to broadband providers at home (cable, satellite, telcos), they have no web page nor any program to run that would measure your internet usage.

For light usage (my case), there's no problem, but if you're using it regularly, even without downloading files, that 1Gig limit could be reached easily.

My Canadian 2-cent...

Ah technology... when you're a caregiver...

As some of you already know, I spend between 5 to 7 hours everyday at my parents' house. It's a labour of love yes... but it's a full-time job on top of my full-time paying job.

And there are just 24 hours in a day, and I have to get a few hours of sleep among a few things. You know, a few basic things.

I've been thinking this weekend, how technology, especially internet have made my life easier. To a point that it made possible to maintain my parents at their home, while things are working their slow way to relocate them to a nursing home.

Banking... no need to waste time at the bank. Over the internet, I pay all the bills, do fund transfers, etc. A few days ago, I've done my yearly contribution to my RRSP (Registered Retirement Saving Plan. Sort of our 401k here in Canada) in just a bunch of clicks. Total time: 5 minutes.

I am thinking that not too long ago, I would have wasted at least an hour or two to get physically at the bank and wait for my turn.

A few hours saved do not appear that much, but when you think of the basic things you have to do, when you have so little time for yourself, saving an hour here and there does make the difference... so I can be a caregiver... and have time for me.

Grocery? IGA accepts online orders. You can choose the store you want to order from and they will deliver to your door at the day and time you tell them to do. Imagine the time you normally spend at the grocery store. At least an hour if not more, right? For me, in about 10 minutes, it's all done.

One thing neato is that you can store up to 10 shopping lists on their web site. So I have a shopping list for recurrent things, week after week, so in just one click, I can put all of those items in my "basket". From there, I do my online shopping for the few items not on the list.

Of course, there's a list for my parents, and what the heck, I have also my own list for my own stuff. Me too, I want to save time on my own grocery!

Drawbacks? There are some. For instance, at the store... if the bananas are green, maybe you wouldn't buy them, but instead you would satisfy your craving with those seemingly juicy green raisins from California just next by. When I'm online, I've no way to tell. There have been a few surprises.

Also the online version of the IGA store is just a "subset" of a brick and mortar IGA store. Not all the brandnames can be ordered online. So you have to take what's available online.

All in all, considering the situation I am in, I can accept that.

All these sites charge a few dollars, from $2 to $10 which can vary according to the amount of goods you buy, or whether their cost or their size.

However IGA charges a flat fee of $7, and you have to order at least $35 of goods. With 3 persons to feed, that's not a problem. :)

Those fees are costly? Yes and no. If you have to take a car... how much it would cost you? From my perspective, I don't own a car, and time is a factor. How much time it takes, using the transit system, to get there, and to return home? Imagine if this is a salary, and even at minimum wage... how much it would cost?

Worse, if you buy lots of stuff (say at the grocery store) or you must buy bulky items, the taxi ride back home will cost you a lot of money.

Clothing, consumer goods: One site that is a life saver: Sears ! It takes a while to shop online about clothes (try to find stuff that _really_ fits) but I have been lucky so far for my parents. It would have been out of question to have my dad and my mom at the shopping center. Their online shopping brings the store to them... and for me, I also save a lot of time. Based on my experience, delivery time is usually 3-5 days. Decent.

Latest thing I bought: Absolutely decadent plush bathrobe. One for mom, one for my dad and what the heck, I'm allowed to pamper myself, no? One for me. Oh, sweet o sweet! :)

Hardware stuff: Two web sites I like: Canadian Tire and Rona. For various things. At my parents' place recently , I had to change their shower curtain, and they needed a new laundry basket, the old one gave up.

Drawbacks? Canadian Tire's web site is a tad clunky. The photos are tiny and the descriptions minimal. A few times, their online order section was down. Oops.

Rona's site was flawless and their delivery time is blazing fast, usually the next day or two. I recently ordered a set of mops and buckets to clean their floor (a chore I have to do everyday because of my dad's health conditions). The problem with Rona is that the choice is extremely limited.

There have been a few other sites, but those are the web sites I usually go for my online shopping.

I've been thinking that just a few years ago, these sites wouldn't exist... and I'm wondering how I would cope. It would have been unbearable.

As a computer programmer, I have to say that I am pleased to see the things made possible by my profession. :)

Cheers,

-E