Living differently... and a matter of human rights?

If you're a woman, would it come to your "right" mind that you could breastfeed... your spouse? If you're a man, would you have a drink... that it's on (and literally from) your wife? :) Without nursing a baby, a woman can be induced into lactating and apparently, to the delight of both spouses.

The other day, both in local printed media and over the radio, I was (indirectly) reminded of my past, as a forum moderator... and why this old militant had his human rights chord being tickled .

I was also a bit intrigued (and pleasantly surprised!) that a seemingly taboo topic could hit the mainstream media, and essentially they didn't make of that story as a freak show.

A couple living in my province started this blog on Wordpress: Allaiter mon conjoint (breastfeed my spouse).

What has touched me is that among the reasons she has started this blog, it is to serve as a place for others who share similar interests. To overcome a taboo, to educate the population in order to fight ridicule.

Also, like so many things in Québec, articles written in French, especially on topics that are... off the beaten path are almost non-existant.

Upfront, I'd say... mhhh... that's absolutely NOT my thing. However, because I don't like something should not and should NEVER mean that others shouldn't enjoy it.

In a previous life, well... in the 80s when the BBSes were king, I was an avid forum participant. By the 90s, I graduated as a forum manager on commercial online services, the ancestor of today's internet. GEnie, Delphi, name it.

One day, on behalf of an ailing forum manager (and personal friend) that I temporarily took care of the Freemind forum on Delphi.. For just a few weeks I thought, 6 looong (and fascinating) months it went. Even after I gave back the forum to its original host, I stayed there 'til I retired entirely from the forum world, in the late 90s.

That was a forum in the "adult" category. Woah. By design, it was in that category in order to be able to speak more freely (hence, the "Freemind") without having management censoring us.

Religion often took a hard beating. (It was the time of tele-evangelists who made headlines regularly for their "immoral" excesses, so I had plenty of material for the forum). Also, maybe because of being in the "adult" category, sexuality was also a fairly recurrent topic.

This forced me to do searches on the 'Net, as well as pitching in my little Canadian 2-cent. Sort of being a reference center and also being a place to discuss about various issues on sexuality, in general.

Being open minded and eager to learn, let say that my mind got opened wider than I thought, and I learn a lot.

If you think people are crazy, yes they are. Yes *we* are. Yes we *all* are. You, me and everyone around. :)

A way of saying that the mighty word "normal" is the word to ban.

Sadly, "statistics" is a word I'd rather like to see it undefined, because people aren't just numbers. We're humans, made of flesh and we have a heart and a soul.

Anyway from that era, there are a few things I learnt and got stucked in my mind. Like one person out of two has a sexual fantasy, enough that the word "fetish" would apply. It is just that your fantasy isn't exactly appealing to others, and if you could know what happen in the bedroom, the fantasies of your neighbours and people you know would be shocking to you.

The danger is applying your moral values to others... and saddly, if you happen to be at the other end of the equation, it is about feeling the pressure of a ruling majority and morality.

There are times I wish the Freemind forum would still exist. Last weekend, Québec's ruling cardinal at a public gathering heavily complained about abortion and he openly wished to have abortion being banned, once again. That would be a good topic to discuss.

And isn't a case of ... human rights? Aren't we born equal, in *dignity* and in *rights* ? Why that moral pressure against you if you live in a non-standard way? Why being ridicule... for who you are?

Some of the reasons people came to the Freemind forum... are the very same reasons this Quebecer couple mentioned in their blog: Loneliness, the fear of "not being normal" because you do things that the moral majority would be against, to have a place to make informations available and to share experience...

Plus ça change...

New communication means... and same old issues.

My thinking is that between freely and willfully consenting adults who want to have some mutual fun and as long as they aren't harming themselves one way or the other, anything can (and should) go on, limited only by their imagination.

And no moralists should tell them what to do and what is approved or not. :)

PS: If you're a guy, you shouldn't laugh that much and you should wipe that grin on your face. :) While researching this topic, I've discovered that men could also lactate. So guys, beware! Your spouse may order you a drink from you one of these days!

Which in a way... feeding from each other, it is living in symbiosis, albeit being squished to a new height. :)

Vivre et laissez vivre, mes amis. That's the whole point. I'm serious.

Cheers,

-E

Paying *personally* the price for standing for human rights?

I'm back in Montréal, after a lovely week in Massachusetts, on the beaches of Cape Cod, and then going further north in Lowell, for their folk festival and along the way, meeting wonderful FastCupid bloggers!

Basking in such an environment,

where everything is nice and cozy,
where at the beach, we wear little, if any

There is even a "clothing optional" beach which I went last year (and on FastCupid, it inspired me to write this blog entry), and I might have gone this year too, but with just a week of vacations, I ran out of time

And in Lowell,
so many cultures mixing in,
peacefully and for the joy of all of us,

It is difficult to NOT forget that we live a very shelthered part of the world.

Elsewhere, things aren't so rosy...

And when you have God on your side,
excesses can be so easily justified,
even if they are insult to everyone's intelligence.

Who would dare to say that God got it wrong,
Or the Holy Writings aren't decoded the way they should?

Mhhh...

Then you are reminded that human rights shouldn't be said too lightly.

The story about Loudna Hussein broke in many French-speaking papers here, and for some reasons was largely ignored by their English counterparts.

If you can read French, try this: L'indécence du pantalon féminin
(Although I found a brief article in the Huffpost: Ludna Hussein pants adjourns until Tuesday)

The story is taking place in Sudan, an islamic country. The police raided a cafe in Karthoum and arrested 13 women, one of them being a UN worker, Ludna Hussein. Their crime? Indecency. Wearing western clothes. In the case of Ludna, she had the heejab on, but otherwise she was wearing ordinary (western) clothes.

We're light-years away from the clothing optional beach of Cape Cod.

The sentence? Being flogged, up to 50 times according to some newspapers. That's the reason for the trial and Loudna is waiting for her sentence.

As a UN worker, she might have immunity, and she said that she wouldn't hesitate to resign, so the trial would go to through.

I get the hunch there might be some political motivations, or there are other things that aren't said. Nonetheless...

You would stand for human rights... even if it means you pay personally a physical price?

I admire her.

Altough my feeling is that nothing will change. Sudan isn't the most democratic country, and when you have the power of religion...

Though as a male, the situation couldn't ever apply to me...

However, I'm thinking that should I have been in a situation which my physical integrity is compromised *AND* I could make use of immunity to bail out, I _think_ that I'd take the immunity waiver and get the [bleep!] out of this situation as fast as I could...

But I am also thinking with my Western world minset too.

Mhhhh....

I'm crossing my fingers...

Human rights... over there.

A comment, said I'm sure with all good intents, that got me into this chain of thoughts...

"You know, you don't have to visit your parents so often".

Of course, I don't have to, but I do hope that you aren't telling me something... else?

Here's the scoop: After 3 years of being a caregiver, first to my dad, and later to *both* dad and mom, it's been about 2 weeks that they got relocated, to what they called here, a "ressource intermédiaire". It's more like "assisted living".

Apparently, the facility got praise for its excellence, overall.

While my parents were at home, I got plenty of help from the CLSC, the "everything under the same roof" governmental social services. They provide at home health care of all kinds.

From time to time, especially toward the end, I hired up private help, so I could take a much needed break, and enjoy vacations away of Montréal.

From people bathing my parents, doing some laundry, then the nurse, then the occupational therapist, then people doing the cooking and some of household chore. At noon, then at 6PM. Toward the end, there were 4 to 6 different people *a day* visiting my parents.

Nearly all were super cool people. To have seen them in action during all of those years, it takes people with a *BIG* heart to do these jobs.

Nearly all.

For instance, I've blogged on FC last fall about a "préposé au bain", a person giving bath to my parents who literally ruled the house as soon as she stepped in. I learn later that this person has come a few times, and everytime it coincided that I was away of Montréal.

But not this time.

She was rude with my parents, even in front of me, and even after I told her that I'm their son... and the one who has *HIRED HER* (well, her agency) to bath my parents!

"Sir, you speak too much".

Wow...

Well, in no time she was speaking all to herself outdoor too. A verbal complaint, followed by a *written* complaint made sure that she won't ever come back. To my knowledge, she didn't.

Over those years, there have been a few cases like that. That's why I'm saying that "nearly all" of the many people coming to my parents' house were super fine, but...

So, there are exceptions. A few, but that's a few... too many.

My parents were just too terrorized to protest.

Those bad apples have been thrown out... because *I* happened to be there.

So that phrase I got from an employee at the "ressource intermédiaire" that "I don't have to visit my parents so frequently"... I'm sure it was said with a good intent, and my frequent visits are at first to ease the transition, -for all of us- in fact, and of course I would ease my visits a bit afterward. So far, I have nothing but praise for the entire personnel, but in the above context, mhhh...

When you are old and ailing... you are extremely powerless to those who have powers onto you.

Nor everyone can count on a relative to speak on their behalf either.

Human rights, it's not just at the other end of the planet, it starts right here at home...

-E

FYI: I was born Palestinian...

No, I am not. :)

Clevergirl reported on her blog about Laila.

When you're a Palestinian,

When home is the Gaza Strip,

When you're a journalist and have to travel,

When you're a mother, with two young kids in tow...

Intenational dirty politics that seem so remote, so immaterial...

Suddenly takes a very ugly face when people do suffer.

Sometimes I wonder about citizenship and its value, especially on a passport. Nor to mention the passport itself.

Not to mention wars...

Have we evolved so much from the cave men?

Mhhhh....

I know that my blog has little readership, but I figure that even symbolically, I have to spread the words. Read Laila's blog.

I still believe in human rights...

... and still naive to believe that we're smart enough to eventually make it happens.

Cheers,

-E

Dalai-Lama in Seattle...

Even though I'm not a Buddhist and I tend to stay away from religion, there are some people which... I would feel being blessed, if I were able to meet.

Such as the Dalai-Lama. He's currently in Seattle, a place I visited a few times and where I met great friends.

(one such friend who had her marriage blessed by the Dalai-Lama no less, years ago. Such a small world. :) ).

Not a word about China nor about Tibet, nor I would expect that he would. Contrary to China leaders, the Dalai-Lama got class. :)

His conferences in the US? About compassion...

Given the hell I am going through, this topic certainly strikes a chord.

Also how the minds of kids are shaped by the experiences and early relationships.

Sigh... I wish I were in Seattle.

Cheers,

-E

PS: You can read more from the CBC web site.

International Women's Day...

... or "Journée internationale des femmes" in French. There were events like these all over the country (do notice the snow. This is Montréal, after all. :) ).

It is one of those days, which my mhhh... militant fiber is there and screaming.

Those days? Whether Martin Luther King Day, whether... the Pride Day... whether too many days...

And THANKFULLY these days exist... yet I'd wish that someday, the raison d'être would vanish.

Maybe it's the Good Samaritan in me... maybe I have this seemingly naïve ideal... that we're all... humans.

So naive, it seems...

There shouldn't be humans penalized, because they happen to live in a not so welcoming country, shall I say...

No matter where on earth, there and here,

There shouldn't be humans considered as less of an human,

based on race,
based on sexual orientation...
...and based on gender.

It is on days like this one, I have this urge to shout to the top of my lungs, these very words...

All human beings,
are born equal,
in dignity and rights.

Those are the very first words... of the Universal Declaration of... Human Rights.


We can pride ourselves that we we live in a supposedly modern world, and yet in the very way we behave... it's still the dark age...

Cheers to all my fellow female companions. It's your day!

-E

(The last two photos were taken during a quick trip to Ottawa last September. The monument is... of course the Human Rights monument located on Elgin Street near city hall, and also within a few minutes of walk from the Parliament. If you happen to visit this monument, you'll be told that the monument has been blessed by the Dalaï Lama and presumably, some of his good spirit is lingering...

... and that concludes my tip to the savvy travelers. :) )